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Why The Most Important Walk With My Father Wasn't Down the Aisle. Father's Day. www.paintedteacup.com

Why The Most Important Walk With My Father Wasn’t Down the Aisle

Why The Most Important Walk With My Father Wasn't Down the Aisle. Father's Day. www.paintedteacup.comIt has been said that walking down the aisle with your father is the most important walk you will ever take together. Today I would like to share why I do not believe this is true.

Yes, my dad walked me down the aisle at my wedding and yes it was a very special and symbolic moment, but that hardly encompasses the most important moments of our relationship. Although I chose to have a somewhat traditional wedding, what would have happened if I didn’t? What if I decided to walk myself down the aisle or elope or never get married? It seems crazy to think that one minute- out of one day-out of your entire life/relationship should sum up the most important moment.

Sometimes fathers aren’t able to walk their daughters down the aisle for many reasons: tragedy, illness, simply not being present, the daughter choosing not to get married etc. What does that mean for these individual’s and their relationships with their fathers? Sometimes fathers aren’t present in their child’s life, for whatever reason. But that does not mean their children do not have another father figure in their life such as a step-father, father-in-law, uncle, grandfather, family friend etc. These relationships, regardless of their form should be honoured and celebrated. Forget the walk down the aisle. If you get to have this moment with your father, great! However, if you never take this walk together, please remember that your relationship/memories count for so much more than the less than one minute walk down the aisle.

Don’t get me wrong, I will always treasure this moment with my father. In some ways this walk was quite symbolic. I was starting a new chapter in my life and I was fortunate enough to father a supportive father by my side. However, this “walk” began long before my wedding day. In fact, it started long before I was ever born. It started with my grandfather.

Why The Most Important Walk With My Father Wasn't Down the Aisle. Father's Day. www.paintedteacup.com
My wedding photography was done by the very talented Aidan & Leanne Hennebry check out their work at Hush Hush Photography!

My Grandfather was a special man in so many ways. He was kind, gentle, caring, and hilarious. Though we teased him about being “cheap” he was also a very generous man who made sure his family was well taken care of. I am thankful for him in many ways. Thank you for teaching my father to be kind, gentle, sensitive, and caring. Thank you for teaching him the importance of humour. Through this I have learned how to take things in stride, laugh when things get tough and try not to take myself too seriously, though this happens at times. Thank you for teaching my dad the importance of family and setting an example of how to be a great father. I am so thankful to you, not only for helping my dad to become the man he is today but also to have had you as such and amazing role model in my life. I love you forever and think about you often.

My Father truly took on many of my grandfather’s wonderful traits. He is hilarious (though I don’t like him to know this too often, I don’t want his head to get too big)! My dad is caring, generous, and completely supportive. Dad, thank you for encouraging me to follow my dreams. Thank you for sacrificing all that you did so that I never had to go without and so that I was able to attend post-secondary. Thank you for teaching me the importance of hard work and responsibility. Thank you for always making me laugh, even when I don’t want to. Thank you for always being there. Without you, I would not be the person I am today.

Father's Day Quote. Dad I know You Have Loved Me As Long As I've Lived; But I've Loved You My Whole Life. www.paintedteacup.com

My Maternal Grandfather is a hardworking, generous, caring, down to earth man. He has taken on my mom and her siblings as if they are his own. He has been part of the family since before I was born. Regardless of blood lines, he is my grandfather, 100%. Grandfather, thank you for teaching me the importance of hard work, integrity and the importance of staying true to your word. Thank you for being kind, caring, and supportive throughout my whole life. Thank you for your good-natured and compassionate side. It is baffling to think that you may have never been a part of my life, I couldn’t imagine what my life would look like if you had never been a part of it.

My Step-Father is truly an amazing man. He has treated my siblings and I as if we are his own. He is kind, generous and supportive. Step-Father, thank you for loving my parent as you do. Thank you for always being kind and supportive. Thank you for your laughter and hugs, they are truly unlike any other. Thank you for showing me the importance of generosity and selflessness. Thank you for taking a role in my life that I didn’t know I was without, I feel lucky to have you in my corner!

Although I said the walk down the aisle was just symbolic, on that day I gained more than a husband, I gained a second family and an amazing Father-in-Law.

My Father-in-Law is an easy-going, kind-hearted, generous and a very funny man. He has accepted me as part of the family (as did the rest of my husband’s family) since day one. Father-in-Law, thank you for welcoming me as a part of your family. Thank you for loving your son unconditionally. Thank you for teaching him to be patient and kind. Thank you for teaching him to be respectful of women and to love with his whole heart. Thanks to you, I know my child will have an amazing father when the day comes.

Yes having my father walk me down the aisle was a very special moment. Was it the most important walk we have ever taken together? Absolutely not! The reality is that this “walk” started long before I was ever born. I am simply fortunate enough to have been a part of this amazing journey that started long before me and has continued throughout my life. Regardless of our relationships with our fathers or male role-models, it is important to remember that the walk started long before we were born, and definitely before our wedding day!

Remember it is the journey that matters, not simply the walk!

This Father’s Day, take some time and remember all the important memories you and your father (or other male role model) have shared over the years!

 

How will you be celebrating this Father’s Day?

53 thoughts on “Why The Most Important Walk With My Father Wasn’t Down the Aisle

  1. My mother is my father & I love her dearly for it. I have a very close bond with my mother & I do believe that there are so many other special moments than just that one walk down the isle!

  2. I totally agree; though the walk down the aisle can be a memorable moment, it is not /the/ defining moment in the father/daughter relationship. My parents divorced when I was just 5 years old and I saw my daddy on occasional weekends throughout my childhood. 11 years ago my husband and I, along with our large brood, moved within a mile of my elderly dad and step-mom. She passed away 5 years ago and I am blessed to spend every Wednesday evening having dinner with Daddy, at his house, just the two of us. It’s been a real blessing getting to know him this way.

  3. I love this! My father recently just walked me down the aisle and it was amazing however I totally agree with you on so many fronts! This post is so touching!!!

  4. I agree 100% with you. I don’t know if I’ll ever walk down an aisle but even if I don’t that doesn’t mean that my father and I can’t still make special moments together.

  5. I totally agree with you! It is not one particular time but it is the journey itself. I had a great father and I will be remembering the journey on Father’s Day.

  6. This is such an excellent post. I live in a multi-father figure dynamic and I agree with you on all of these points. My father didn’t get to walk me down the aisle (something he frequently brings up) because I chose to elope in Tokyo. I mean who wouldn’t? lol But I agree, it doesn’t take away from the many other moments we have had together throughout my life. Again excellent post and thank you for sharing it.

    • It would be hard not to take that opportunity Trisha 😉 You have the moments, with or without ‘the walk’. Thanks so much for your kind words and for sharing your experience!

  7. This is a very sweet tribute to the fathers in your life! Some of my most important moments with my dad are the one-on-one times we have together. I’ve started giving him experiential gifts for birthdays & Father’s Days, and we have so much fun together, going out to eat or kayaking. I find we bond the most during these times.

  8. this is so sweet and all true.
    I was not a very fussy bride, my dad did walk me down the isle and I’m thankful for those photo memories but in reality it’s just a teeny tiny snippet of us as father/ daughter

  9. Can’t agree with you more. You have good points. It sure is the significant moment/memory in one’s life, what if people have different stories so their fathers can’t be part of it? please be more sensitive about it.

  10. I totally agree with you. While it was an important moment, it wasn’t the most important moment in our relationship. I think we have those moments now when he spends time with my kids and I can see how much he loves them.

  11. My father walked me down the aisle twice but what he did in between those two weddings…when I was going through a divorce…was the ultimate in taking a walk with me. He and I have our differences but when push came to shove, he was there by my side (with my mother) and held my hand through a very difficult time in my life.

  12. Such beautiful and wonderful words for the men in your life. It is so important to acknowledge the role that those who have helped shape us played in our shaping. I am so glad that you have a supporting and loving family. It is apparent that your words are sincere and that makes them even more moving. Thank you for sharing such an emotional post.

  13. We always have a family gathering and lunch for Father’s Day. And yes, to me my dad walking me down the aisle on my wedding day was very special and I am very grateful that he was there with me. But I agree it can also be done by another special male figure in your life if your father is not available, which is the case for some.

  14. I have to admit, walking down the aisle with my father was a very important moment in my life. But now that he is no longer alive, I can look back and see there were so many moments with him that were much more important! Your post really made me emotional thinking back over them!

  15. My Dad died 13 days before my 16th birthday. He was one of the most supportive Dad’s in the world even if we bumped heads a LOT–As one of my cousins said recently-she loved to come to my house–my Dad was so much fun–Yes he was–and I will never forget him-ever.

  16. I really like how you took a step back and reworked the meaning of a “walk” with your father. I think the walk you describe really does hold more meaning than the walk down the aisle. Life is one long walk that you walk with many meaningful people!

    • This is such a great way to pay tribute to the most important men in your life. And you are right that the walk down the aisle is symbolic and is a treasured moment, but what’s important is what our fathers did and sacrificed for us.

  17. You are so right! I have been blessed to have my father/a father figure around majority of my life. He has taught me and made me in to the woman I am today. Even though, I will like for him to walk me down the aisle one day, I know that day will never the most important.

  18. I love this post,it is true other people who choose not to walk down the aisle of just do not have a father etc should not feel left out from the so called important walk of a girls life as you said it all started way before that

  19. I love any chance that I get to spend with my father. There are so many important walks you take with the men in your life it is hard to define which is the most important. I love the picture of you with your grandfather from your wedding day, you can feel the love!

  20. What a heart felt post that brightened my day! My dad smiles from the heavens above, so for me, every day is Father’s Day and think dad’s should be appreciated while they are still here!

  21. You have a really a lot of good father figure. I agree that fatherhood is not only defind by who walks you in the isle but the one who accept your existence and loves you for being a part of his life.

  22. Beautiful post that was very well written. It is about the journey isn’t it? You are lucky to have such great men in your life. I miss my grandparents dearly, but I try to appreciate my dad as much as possible while I have him!

  23. What a sweet post, and truly a lovely tribute to the fathers in your life! I always get a little wistful when I read things like this, because my father passed away before I could meet him. I have a very small, broken family that’s scattered all over the country, and my maternal grandfather is the only father figure I have to turn to, aside from my husband’s side (which is huge.) It’s a bit sad, but I can happily say that I turned out all right in spite of it! 🙂

  24. My dad walked me down the aisle at my second wedding. It was really important to me because he wasn’t able to walk me down the aisle in my first wedding. This is a great post.

  25. My father past away in 1980 of Lung Cancer at the young age of 57. My step-dad passed in 2006. My sibling passed of a massive heart attack when he was 44, so when I did get married to my soul mate I had my step-brother walk me down the aisle. He’s the nicest brother for sure. I was very happy to have him do that for me.

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